— Movie Review — “Killing Them Softly”

Alright, this is gonna be short. I won’t waste your time and killing-them-softly-posterB.S. you on this movie; so Don’t Waste Your Time on this piece of crap!  The movie starts out with good hope… It has well written dialogue that takes place between the characters played by Scoot Mcnairy and Ben Mendelsohn. The back-and-forth manages to shock even the most crude amongst us. I even felt it inappropriate to laugh; although I did anyway.

Well, the story pics up when the two bust into a poker tournament and rob the big-time players (who happen to be affiliated with organized crime). They survive the robbery but solicit the ire of a cleaner. The cleaner is played by Brad Pitt. He is called in to find out who is responsible for the heist and kill everyone who needs to be killed. He’s hired by an organization that cannot seem to make decisions on what they want done and thus, drag every decision into a corporate decision-making hell.

The storyline is simple and shouldn’t be a problem for anyone worth their salt to produce. It is the same old story where some guys commit a heist and madness ensues as the people they robbed come after them to exact vengeance. But instead, the product is a hot, confusing mess. Ironically, it is the same storyline that Guy Ritchie has capitalized on with damn near all of his movies (with success). Think of this movie as a non-interesting version of Locked, Cocked, and Two Smoking Barrels , or Rocknrolla.

What makes this movie (I don’t want to say its name anymore) worse is the addition of annoying political quotes running throughout the movie. They weren’t cool quotes about anything important… It’s political quotes from Obama, McCain, and Bush. The quotes make no F-ing sense to the context of the movie… And if you despise politicians — as I do; The repeated soundtrack of the their voices will only serve to further infuriate you.

I’m sure there was some sort of political message behind it all.  I’m sure it was meant to be a note on the current political discourse or some scheize, but, one just doesn’t care… It’s so boring and used; One doesn’t even have the energy to figure it out. The only creativity in the movie is from the effects staff who manage to put some of the shooting scenes into new perspectives, and to take pride in creating up-close and personal gunshot damage, including exploding heads.

What I can’t seem to understand is the timing, pace, and criminal misuse of a staff of singularly impressive actors. Besides Pitt, you have Ray Liotta, whose role in this movie could’ve been played by… I dont know; me!  James Gandolfini, provides the best acting performance of the movie, but his character isn’t resolved and he merely disappears from the movie with an explanation that he was arrested with some hooker. Seriously?!

I’m giving Killing Them Softly “two thumbs down“, “1-Star“, an “F-minus“. I’m giving it anything I can to let anyone thinking about paying the money to see it, that they should wait till it hits DVD (and I mean Redbox rental; don’t buy it). Better yet, get it on iTunes or Netflix (so you can delete it immediately after you watch it… ‘Cause you won’t ever want to see it again).

… And just to complete the thought; I’ll leave you with the closing line of the movie (from Pitt). He says, “America isn’t a country, America is a business.” Yuck!!!

This is probably one of those movies, that the reviewers all seem to swear by, but the people who pay for the tickets will hate. I know you don’t know me from Adam (that guy that works at the Gas Station down the street from you), but remember me when you exit the theater utterly confused and disappointed;  Because you will!

Kali Pinckney

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